Life Pearls

What if I’m a bad mother?

If you have never asked yourself that question, it would genuinely surprise me.

Even when it comes to the second or third child, it’s a concern that has plagued women for centuries (heck, maybe even cave-women felt that way!), but you know what? More times than not, the simple fact that you are worried means that you already are a good mom.

“Women, when they’re expecting, are typically excited and afraid at the same time,” explains Rallie McAllister, MD, MPH, author of The Mommy MD Guide to Pregnancy and Birth.

It’s completely normal, considering that you are gearing up for a massive change in your lifestyle -- a change, might I add, that doesn’t necessarily happen overnight and becomes progressively more and more wonderful as you grow into your new role as a parent.

Being a good mom can’t be boiled down to one single thing (imagine if it were that simple:“She made her son eat broccoli twice this week. That’s a sure sign of a good mom.” Yeah ok.).

Being a good mom doesn’t mean giving into your child all the time, nor does it mean you have to be a perfect human being. A good mom doesn’t even has to be baby-obsessed before her child is born!

A good mom has bad days, and that’s ok.

There are days when you will be grumpy, exhausted and on edge… but that doesn’t make you a bad mother. Even on those days where you feel you have done nothing to stimulate your child or haven't had a peaceful moment in what seems like years, you are not a bad mother. A good mom is one that makes mistakes and wonders what in the world she has done; that is worried, anxious and stressed from time to time (especially through teenage years!). A good mom is far from perfect: it just so happens that you will not know everything about parenting as soon as your baby is born.

So, if you love your child unconditionally and would consider walking on hot coals for your little one, well my dear you will be a wonderful mom. Just take it one day at a time, with a pinch of humour and a little bit of patience, and I promise you will be comfortable and confident in your role in no time.

“Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.”  – Unknown




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